It has now been a year since we returned to the states from living overseas. So much has happened in this short amount of time it really feels like it has been much longer. Strangely enough it still feels foreign to us to be here. I guess there is a piece of us still there that will never belong here, no matter where "home" for us may be.
Just last weekend we were able to spend some time with some old friends from Ecuador that served with us, but spent many more years as missionaries than we did. As I talked with them I saw that they too struggle with many of the feelings we have. In some ways it is almost like mourning the loss of something that was once a part of you. And, although we know that regardless of where we live we will always be missionaries, we know in our heart that not all mission fields feel like "home".
So this is a shout out to all of our old missionary friends either living on the field, returning from the field, retired from the field...can I be real? Do you ever stop feeling that hole deep inside for the people and places that you served? Is this a unique feeling, or is it just me? I am just curious, because as the year has passed I feel that this has not abated at all and I wonder if it is a singular feeling or if it is something universal felt by all former missionaries. Please feel free to be real with me too.
Just last weekend we were able to spend some time with some old friends from Ecuador that served with us, but spent many more years as missionaries than we did. As I talked with them I saw that they too struggle with many of the feelings we have. In some ways it is almost like mourning the loss of something that was once a part of you. And, although we know that regardless of where we live we will always be missionaries, we know in our heart that not all mission fields feel like "home".
So this is a shout out to all of our old missionary friends either living on the field, returning from the field, retired from the field...can I be real? Do you ever stop feeling that hole deep inside for the people and places that you served? Is this a unique feeling, or is it just me? I am just curious, because as the year has passed I feel that this has not abated at all and I wonder if it is a singular feeling or if it is something universal felt by all former missionaries. Please feel free to be real with me too.
2 comments:
Hey Kirsten,
I'm coming out of lurk-dom to leave a little note to say I don't know either :)
We never felt specifically "called" to Ecuador, or even to Latin America, but desired (and still desire) to do whatever God asks of us.
We've been back in the States for 9-10 months now, too, and sometimes I do miss Quito, though not as profoundly as you describe. Recently, I told Ryan that I know exactly where to walk to get a certain item in Quito, ECUADOR, but have no idea where to find it in the Orlando, FLORIDA area! That was very strange. (BTW, WalMart had it, as it turns out!)
I do often think of those we served with and those we served, and feel like maybe they think we forgot about them. We didn't. Life just moves on, and I'm sure their lives are moving on, too.
I appreciate your blog updates and your 'real-ness' with us, your readers.
~Sandra
Thanks Sandra. I am sorry we never got to see each other in Quito, although I remember Ken ran into you once at a store. I think for me Costa Rica will hold an even bigger part of my heart because of House of Restoration and my dear Tica friends. I do pray that we can fill the void with future mission trips to Ecuador and Costa Rica and wherever else He leads.
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